BDSM Dirty Talk Strategy: Partner’s Mood Overflow With A Few Words
In BDSM, shame is the source of happiness for many people. To arouse their shame, we have to mention a skill that many DOM / S want to master — dirty talk.
The dirty talk here does not mean swearing, but refers to a kind of “shameful language that can arouse the desire of the other party”. So when your partner plays soothing music and looks at you affectionately, you must not suddenly pull your partner’s hair to swear. That’s why dirty talk needs to learn.
Today, I have compiled a large-scale strategy of dirty talk, from principles to scenarios and precautions, to help you understand the issue of “abusing in BDSM” more systematically and objectively.
To understand the essence of dirty talk, the first thing we need to understand is why dirty talk, which is very dirty and obscene on the social and moral level, makes people feel comfortable in the bedroom?
Before writing this article, I used a questionnaire to make simple statistics of some dirty talks that BDSM practitioners like. They are as follows:
1. Many male-M like their masters calling him “whore / slut” very much, and think that they have gained a sense of shame of contrast;
2. Many female-M like their master’s command voice dialogue very much, “kneel well / hand to me / XX reach out”
3. An S who liked his M leaned up to his ear and said, “master, I’m not wearing underpants today.”
4. ……
After observation, it is not difficult to find that the essence of the happiness of dirty talk lies in “breaking taboos”.
We live in a society that regards sex as shame. Because of this, after being smeared by anti-sex culture, some words are disciplined as obscene and licentious and become taboos that can no longer be talked about in a normal state. So when we talk about these dirty talks, we are experiencing the joy of breaking the ban. And the stronger these taboos are, the happier they are when they are broken.
In BDSM, the same is true. Take the above example, when the hostess says “whore / slut” to man m, the taboo that a man must stand up to heaven is broken; when woman m says “master, I don’t wear underwear today”, the taboo that a woman must be “virtuous and virtuous” is broken.
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According to biologist and psychologist Walfish, published in the Journal Hormone Research, he found that when people cross these cultural taboos, the level of circulating testosterone secreted by the brain increases significantly, which usually reduces anxiety and increases sexual desire. So we can probably understand that the happiness of dirty talk comes from breaking taboos. If you know exactly what taboos your partner wants to break and complete this process with your partner in the bedroom, you will get extraordinary happiness.
So this also leads to the next part of this article, how to happily practice dirty talk with partners.
01
Three principles of when, where, and what
First of all, there are several big principles of dirty talk in the bedroom.
What to talk about: this part has just been mentioned, that is, we need to know each other’s point through communication, and then speak about dirty talk pertinently.
Where: the occasion of dirty talk also needs attention. Usually speaking in the bedroom will make people crazy, but speaking in public will make people embarrassed and angry.
When: when to speak and when not to speak also need to be carefully distinguished.
READ MORE: Talk About BDSM Seriously: The Most Comprehensive Article
02
Be brief, not redundant
Most dirty talks follow the principle that they can be short. If they are too long, they will make people lose interest.
A: “You ask me now.”
B: “I won’t agree or even consider your request until you ask me to be satisfied. You need to know who you are… “
M’s inner OS: “can you stop nagging?”
03
Avoid specific details
When talking about dirty talk, you should remember that you are not in an interview. Contrary to the principle of an interview, try not to talk about details. Otherwise, your imagination will be compressed, the utopian atmosphere will be disillusioned and the atmosphere will be destroyed.
READ MORE: BDSM, DOM SUB, DOM AND SUB: Distinguish The Concept
A: “Look at you like this, I want to strip off your clothes.”
B: “Look at you like this, I want to strip off your red plaid shirt that has not been air leveled, then take down your dusty glasses and throw them aside, and finally tear off your underpants with a hole in two-thirds of your left buttock!”
M: “screw you!”
A: “To please you is my only goal.”
B: “Please you, let you have no scruples to play games at home, do not wash your hair, I do not dislike you, to help you order good takeout, tired to help you order good milk tea, is my only goal.”
S: “who is humiliating whom?”
04
Don’t use questions
When we talk about dirty talk, the most destructive feedback is the interrogative sentence, because the interrogative sentence means that the partner has to think about the answer, but who would like to take the time to answer the question at the right time! Can’t you see the body feedback? And the following questions are nuclear weapons in question, which can be called death talk. I hope you will avoid them.
1. How big is your master’s penis?
Recommended answer: don’t ask me, go to the toilet and take it out by yourself
2. Little M-dog, are you happy?
Recommended answer: it’s cool before asking, but it’s uncomfortable immediately after asking.
Who is better, me or your ex-S?
Recommended answer: who is powerful? I only know that after asking this question, you will become my EX-S.
05
Dirty talk for reference
I collected some dirty talks in BDSM that you think are not bad, and put them here for your reference.
READ MORE: BDSM CHECKLIST: Encyclopedia Of BDSM Concepts
Related to S / DOM are “commands + things you want to do”:
1. Lie down and shut up.
2. Tonight is all about me.
3. partnerke your clothes off and get into bed.
4. On your knees, bitch.
5. Beg me.
6. You’re going to get spanked until you cry.
7. I want to hear you say my name, say it bitch.
M / SUB is mainly related to “request + obey + sincere words”:
1. Your wish is my command.
2. I just want to make you happy.
3. I’ve been very bold and need to be punished.
4. Pleasing you is my only purpose in life.
5. Please fuck me, daddy.
6. Can I give you a blow job, master?
7. Please.
06
Identity chauvinism
After talking about some of the above popular science and precautions about dirty talk, there is a special point to remind you. In today’s society, many men still hold the trend of male chauvinism. Therefore, in the name of pleasure, dirty talk in the bedroom may become a means of invading others.
In my opinion, it’s not just men. Some people talk about humiliating dirty talk in sex or BDSM. Their purpose is not to be happy, but to be true is to belittle another object, to gain the psychological self-esteem of strengthening their “dignity” and “status”.
They either think that one gender must be better than another gender, or that some identities must be better than others and this “gender/identity chauvinism” is difficult to find support in real life, because these people are usually frustrated in life, so they only want to find a “voluntary” object in the role-playing activities such as sex or BDSM to satisfy their needs Mouth of “you are cheap”, “fuck”, “useless waste” and other dirty words to meet their “strong” vanity.
This is a phenomenon we need to be alert to because this kind of “identity chauvinism” is often difficult to distinguish when mixed in the dirty talk for pleasure, but its harm is not small, long-term indoctrination and brainwashing can even irrevocably degrade the other party’s personality and self-esteem.
I hope that while enjoying the pleasure brought by dirty talk, we can also acutely distinguish this kind of personality derogation and social role negation, and timely say to our partners, “screw you!”
To sum up, today we have combed the dirty talk in BDSM, explained the reasons why it makes people feel happy, cited some common use methods and precautions of dirty talk, and also reminded you of the potential risks. I hope you can gain something after reading and enjoy the fun with your partner healthily and freely.
You might also be interested in: Is A Sex Pervert Who Always Dirty Talking During Sex? 4 Types Dirty Talking
References
[1] Lizette Borreli, The Science Of Dirty talk And Why ItIncreases Sexual Pleasure, Medical Daily, 2015
[2] Sean Jameson, 91 Dirty Things To Say To Turn Him On &Have Crazy Wild Sex, (7;1, P.43–56)
[3] Bonnie Gabriel. The Fine Art of Erotic talk: How to Entice,Excite and Enchant Your Lover With Words[J]. Banpartnerm Dell, 1996.
[4] Gabriel, Bonnie. The Fine Art Of Erotic talk[J].Sophie SaintThomas，The Kinky Tendency You Might Not Realize You Have，2017
