BDSM CHECKLIST: Encyclopedia Of BDSM Concepts
BDSM CHECKLIST
Basic terms
BDSM
Explanation: BDSM is used to describe sexual preference patterns related to sadistic love in some people. The main groups are referred to by BDSM: bondage & discipline (B / D), dominion & submission (D / S), sadism & Masochism (S / M).
Note: BDSM is not B + D + S + M, but BD + DS + SM
Bondage & Discipline (BD or B&D)
Translation: binding and training
Explanation: the abbreviation of BD in BDSM mainly refers to physical restraint and fixation, as well as physical pain and adjustment. It can be superposed with DS and Sm, or separated from each other.
Note: for those who only like to restrain, don’t feel that you are neither DOM nor SUB, nor s, nor m, like an alien.
Shibari，shibaru
Translation: Rope Art
Explanation: as a derivative branch of the BD relationship, the artistic style of binding is more important, and its core focus is on artistic display rather than simple practical binding.
Dominance & Submission，D/S
Translation: domination and submission
Explanation: the core relationship in BDSM includes submission and domination, especially various forms of power exchange. DS relationship focuses more on psychological surrender and dependence. The dominator is called DOM, and the subject is called SUB.
According to most practitioners, the exchange of power must be preceded by mutual consultation. Before the game, participants need to discuss their physical and psychological bottom line, establish safety words (meaning words used to stop the game), and set the content of their upcoming activities.
Note: fellow men, suppress your penis. For the difference between DS and SM, please read this article in detail, BDSM, DOM SUB, DOM AND SUB: Distinguish The Concept
Power exchange
Translation: Power Exchange
Explanation: one (or more) people voluntarily transfer part of their power to another (or more) people within a certain period. Generally, the relationship based on the indefinite power exchange is called the total power exchange (TPE) relationship. The decisive factor of power exchange is the willingness of both sides, and there is no one side concealing some privileges from the other side. Power exchange is the essence of BDSM, and both parties’ willingness is the basis of power exchange. Socially, this is the fundamental difference between BDSM and slavery.
Note:_____ It’s the essence of BDSM_____ It is the basis of power exchange.
Sadism & Masochism，S/M
Translation: sadism and masochism
Explanation: it includes two categories: abusive and masochistic. The former belongs to the pleasure of inflicting pain on others, while the latter belongs to the satisfaction of accepting pain. It includes both physical pain (such as the pain caused by whipping) and mental pain (such as the pain caused by humiliation and domination), but generally speaking, it is to satisfy their physiological desire.
Note: SM is more focused on seeking physiological satisfaction and release. S and m are not commonly used. They basically use DOM and SUB as pronouns.
Aftercare
Translation: After care
Explanation: after the end of the BDSM scene or game, make the participants calm down and slowly resume the caring behavior of connecting with reality. Aftercare is very important. It is one of the most valuable and warm experiences for participants. It usually includes keeping away from the noise, kissing, caressing, hugging, sports drinks, rehydration, and warmth.
Note: those who “pull out the penis and become heartless” may cause a series of negative emotional consequences for their partners. Please respect yourself.
Drop
Explanation: the phenomenon of emotional instability after the end of BDSM behavior may appear immediately or several hours later. Of course, not everyone will appear. This emotional reaction may include depression, crying, anger, depression, and so on. At present, the medical explanation for this phenomenon is the emotional fluctuation caused by the sudden drop of adrenaline. It can be divided into subdrop (SUB feels bad) or domdrop (DOM feels bad). The meaning of aftercare is to effectively prevent the occurrence of drop emotion, which usually includes keeping away from the noisy environment, kissing, hugging, good communication, keeping warm, energy drink rehydration, and other operations.
Note: what will happen after the end? Remember aftercare!
Body worship
Translation: Body worship
Explanation: through kissing and licking to express the respect and worship of DOM’s body parts. It is necessary to pay attention to the difference between foot fetishism and foot fetishism. The licking foot behavior caused by foot fetishism is the behavior of satisfying one’s selfish desire, which must have sexual arousal. Body worship is the expression of worship for the other. Hand kissing still exists in some areas, and face kissing seems to be the residual form of this kind of behavior after degradation.
Note: people who always say “I want to see your feet” and “I want to see your legs” can only be regarded as a fetish, not body worship.
[READ MORE: BDSM And Sex: Society, Psychjology, History]
Boot worship
Translation: Boot worship
Explanation: show respect for dominant shoes by kissing the surface of the boots. They usually pay attention to the sense of ceremony. This kind of emotion is usually mixed with fetishism, but it can also exist as a worship ceremony alone.
Cuckold
Translation: is Male
Explanation: the core essence of a cuckold is that a man in a couple or lovers wants his partner to have sexual relations with other people (or men or women), and he or the participants exist as observers. In the process, men may or may not have sex with their partners. Because cuckold violates the universal values of marriage loyalty, there is usually a huge social and public pressure for men who have this kind of plot. These men usually hire professionals to play the role of a third party.
Cuckquean
Translation: is Female
Explanation: corresponding to cuckold above. Generally speaking, cuckquean will like such scenes, such as when her partner is forced to sit down and watch quietly when they have sex with others but is not allowed to participate.
Fetish
Translation: fetishism
Explanation: sexual excitement caused by specific objects, body parts, or activities that are usually not related to sex. Such as silk stockings, underwear, latex, etc.
Note: only those who can arouse sexual arousal are considered fetishism. Those who like to collect AJ shoes or antiques are not fetishism.
Grandmother rule
Translation: Grandmother’s law
Explanation: Grandma’s rule means that you can wear everyday clothes and accessories to some BDSM parties, so even if you bump into your grandmother on the way, she won’t feel shocked. Now it is usually extended to refer to some BDSM parties that have no special regulations and requirements on clothing and behavior. When you ask the organizers what they need to dress for the event, they will most likely tell you, “grandmother rule.”
Leather culture
Translation: Leather culture
Explanation: BDSM of traditional old school style originated from the combination of some motorcycle “gangs” and gay men BDSM after World War II. Later, it spread in other directions and produced hundreds of existing clubs. Women (“leatherdykes”) have been participating since about 1980 and usually exist as “sisters” chapters. Some leather clubs are old-fashioned in structure and hierarchy. A member can only rise to all levels after years in the club. This type of system is often called “old school”.
Objectification (humiliation play)
Translation: materialized game
Explanation: it refers to a series of behaviors in which SUB is regarded as dehumanizing for some time; it is usually regarded as animals, furniture, toys, etc.
Note: materialization here is not derogatory, but a way of the game with prior agreement.
Safeword
Translation: Safety words
Explanation: a pre-specified word or nonverbal cue used to stop or ease current behavior.
Note:
WIKIPEDIA: In BDSM, a safeword is a code word, series of code words or other signal used by a person to communicate their physical or emotional state, typically when approaching, or crossing, a physical, emotional, or moral boundary. Some safewords are used to stop the scene outright, while others can communicate a willingness to continue, but at a reduced level of intensity.
Safewords are usually agreed upon before playing a scene by all participants, and many organized BDSM groups have standard safewords that all members agree to use to avoid confusion at organized play events.The most common safeword system is the “traffic light” system, in which “red” means “stop”, “amber” or “yellow” means “proceed with caution”, and “green” means “more, please!” The word “safeword” itself is sometimes viewed as a “universal” safeword at events like play parties.
Those who practise the more permissive philosophy of risk-aware consensual kink may abandon the use of safewords, especially those that practice forms of edgeplay or extreme forms of dominance and submission. In such cases, the choice to give up the use of safewords is a consensual act on the part of the bottom or submissive.
Transgender TS
Translation: Transgender people
Explanation: people who don’t agree with their physical gender. They use gender which is different from the physiological gender the whole time or only in some cases. They may or may not have chemical denaturation or sex-change surgery. Transsexuality does not necessarily indicate their sexual partner preferences.
Note: TS does not recognize their physical gender, whether they have sex-change surgery or not.
Crossdress CD
Translation: transvestite
Explanation: a person who prefers to dress in a heterosexual way and live every day. The physiological gender identity of oneself. It also doesn’t necessarily indicate their sexual partner preferences.
Note: no matter how much they like to wear heterosexual clothes, the CD will recognize their physiological gender.
Vanilla
Translation: Vanilla
Explanation: people or behaviors not involved in BDSM. Usually used as the opposite of BDSMer. My girlfriend said to her boyfriend, “I need a totally vanilla couple tonight.”
BDSM CHECKLIST
Relative NOUN
24/7
Translation: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Explanation: an always valid DS relationship. This is the most extreme situation in the DS relationship. There is a 24-hour * 7-day complete power exchange without any exemption and rest time.
Note: people who like this kind of relationship often act as natural enemies with those who advocate “I am a slave when I kneel and we are friends when I stand up”. But in fact, there is no distinction between good and bad.
Family (usually capitalized)
Translation: duonu / open relationship
A BDSM relationship consisting of three or more individuals. Usually (not always) live together. Families can be organized around any number of people, including polygamy or multiple slaves. The structure can be informal, mobile, or fixed, with a definite scope.
Note: this relationship group and 1-to-1 relationship group are natural enemies, and these two groups will despise each other. But in fact, there is no distinction between good and bad.
Dollification
Translation: dollization
Explanation: dollization refers to the process of becoming a “doll” psychologically and physically, which is a branch of materialized games. The players involved in the play-a-game are called “owners” and “dolls”; this is equivalent to the S / M or DOM/SUB relationship.
The psychological characteristics of dolls include but are not limited to: enjoying obedience and being manipulated. Finally, being able to feel their value is being used and played by the owners is a kind of service psychology.
The decorative features of dolls include but are not limited to the corset, stiletto, thigh high-heeled shoes/stockings, rubber/vinyl/plastic suits, dresses, skirts, cosmetics, etc.
Note: there is no intention to demean a person or party. This is a symbiotic relationship, everyone is voluntary, everyone makes their choice equally. Those familiar with the M / S or D / S relationship will know that this relationship represents equality, although it seems contradictory.
BDSM CHECKLIST
Exclusive terms of BDSM gameplay
Age play
Translation: Trans Age Game
Explanation: one person (usually a SUB) dresses and acts as if he is younger, from infant to adult; the other plays the older person. It may or may not include sexual relations. This is essentially a role play, not including the suggestion of incest or pedophilia, but usually playing the role of parent/child or teacher/student.
Animal play: (pet play, ponygirl, ponyboy, pup-play)
Translation: Animal play
Explanation: SUB behaves like an animal in a role-playing game. Animal role play is usually a voluntary imitation of animals by human beings, such as dog howling, urinating, and so on. Animal roleplay may or may not involve sexual activity.
Note: don’t misunderstand it as animal sex/zoomania involving real animals. The subject is two adults.
Breath control, breath play
Translation: Respiratory control
Explanation: the behavior of DOM controlling SUB breathing is usually achieved by suffocation, mouth covering, or other forms of suffocation.
Danger tip: any form or degree of respiratory control is very dangerous, please do not try.
Bagging
Translation: Bagging
Explanation: a kind of suffocation play, usually refers to the use of transparent bag cover on the head, can be more intuitive to observe the state of SUB.
Caution: danger, do not try.
Chastity
Translation: Chastity control
Explanation: a form of abstinence. A form of prohibiting SUB from releasing sexual desire or orgasm through external mechanical devices. In this way, SUBs are not allowed to touch or stimulate their genitals; a device called a chastity belt is often used to prevent sexual stimulation.
Note: please pay attention to cleanliness and hygiene when wearing for a long time.
Sensory deprivation
Translation: sensory deprivation
Explanation: the use of various props, such as eye masks, earplugs, etc., deprives the experimenter of one or more sensory functions. The purpose is to enhance the sensitivity of other senses, such as touch, hearing, etc., or to cause insecurity. Often used as an exercise to increase trust.
Edging
Translation: edge control
Explanation: edge control means that SUB is brought to the edge of climax by DOM, then refuses to release them, and then circulates over and over again. It can be done through the operation of DOM, or some DOM commands SUB to operate by itself. If it is allowed to be released eventually, it tends to be more intense, which may cause the SUB to fall into climax frustration and make them further yield.
Exhibitionism
Translation: revealing
Explanation: in BDSM, exposure usually takes the form of showing “taboo” behaviors or body parts to others. This may be to meet the psychological needs of DOM or to humiliate the SUB.
Always keep in mind the core principle: the basic principle of BDSM is a mutual agreement.
Note: it should be remembered that in BDSM, revealing the “mutual consent” of behavior is special because innocent bystanders may be involved. Therefore, according to the definition, the disclosure behavior should be a “multi-party agreement”. Either all participants in the scene have reached an agreement, or DOM can control the behavior 100% to ensure that it does not affect other people who do not know the behavior. Otherwise, it is against the reasonable rights and interests of others.
Needle play
Translation: puncture
Explanation: the use of a sterile needle for temporary subcutaneous perforation, need certain medical expertise, do not imitate. Safety issues: precautions must be taken to prevent infection.
Forced orgasm
Translation: forced climax
Explanation: ignoring the SUB’s will, or even though they refuse to have an orgasm, they are forced to trigger an orgasm in BDSM behavior.
Humiliation play
Translation: humiliation
Explanation: shame can be produced in a variety of ways, from gentle teasing to psychological stimulation, from language to behavior. Like pain, many SUBs need a sense of humiliation to produce pleasure. For many rulers, humiliation is also pleasant or interesting. We should distinguish it from “insult”. Humiliation is more like a kind of behavior under the psychology of “voluntary disagreement” because the SUB is eager for it.
Note: humiliation is not a curse or an insult. There are also taboos to humiliation. You should communicate well in advance, such as whether you can mention family, friends, etc.
K-9 role play
Translation: Play like a dog
K-9 is the English transliteration of a police dog. The characteristics of a police dog are loyalty, docility, and emotional dependence on the owner. It evolved into the BDSM relationship and became a branch of a dog acting in pet play. DOM trained SUB to imitate the dog’s behavior and loyalty.
Note: know what it is, and know why it is.
K0~K8
Translation: ┓ (∀ ‘) ┓ (∀‘)
Explanation: in fact, this is a model of “three people become tigers”. There are no relevant concepts in more formal popular science and literature. Its origin is completely created by some marketing numbers in the past to attract people’s attention, and then more and more people believe it. The concept of the noun is constantly developing. Since many people recognize this noun and concept, it is no problem to form a new concept.
BDSM CHECKLIST
Identity NOUN
Brat
Translation: Naughty SUB
Explanation: A slightly disobedient, death loving, and naughty SUB is also known as topping from the bottom. On the surface, this is a negative quality of obedience; however, some rulers enjoy a certain degree of “noise”, which may be an important part of the power exchange relationship.
Note: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Topping from the bottom (TFTB)
Translation: Rebellion
Explanation: A SUB who tries to disobey DOM tries to get attention or satisfy his own needs through such disobedient behavior; for example, intentional misconduct to stop punishment. This is usually considered a very negative behavior. However, in some relationships, DOM can tolerate and enjoy a certain amount of “aggressive” or “restless.”
Note: unlike brat, brat doesn’t want to change the way power is exchanged, it just wants to attract your attention and make you more eager to conquer them. But TFTb is not. They want to overthrow your “power.”.
Damsel in distress (also DID)
Translation: SUB with emotional trauma
Explanation: SUB with serious emotional problems is usually caused by traumatic experiences such as childhood abuse or relationship or rape. Before he/she is advised to cure himself/herself with a DS relationship, he/she needs professional counseling to get the doctor to come to this conclusion. Don’t judge by yourself. They need to be treated with special care.
White Knight
Translation: White Knight
Explanation: they are eager to “save” DOM like did; usually they have the characteristics of overflowing love and taking care of others for pleasure. Although the motivation of the white knight is praiseworthy of course, the emotional problems of did are often very serious, which can not be handled by enough kindness. White Knight’s behavior without the advice of professional doctors may make did dependent. Eventually, once he leaves the white knight, all problems will come back and aggravate. As a result, the white knight’s kindness does not help but hurt them.
Note: love can’t cure disease, please give it to the doctor.
“High maintenance” submissive
Translation: highly compliant
Explanation: a desire to get a lot of attention from DOM, need DS relationship to fill all their lives to feel self-fulfilling SUB. This kind of SUB mostly exists in 24 / 7 relationship.
Service-oriented
Translation: Service-Oriented
Explanation: people who like to provide services can be related to BDSM. When related, most of them are in the DS relationship, or they can be completely unrelated. What they have in common is that they get satisfaction by serving another person.
BDSM CHECKLIST
Strange psychology
Consent
Translation: I agree
Explanation: identity with the current scene behavior or the ongoing BDSM relationship.
Note: This is the most important psychology in all BDSM relationships. Without this psychology as the premise of establishing relationships, all relationships are castles in the air, and there will be all kinds of weird debates and violations of human relations.
Consensual non-consensuality
Translation: Voluntary disagreement
Note: SUB gives consent and permission to DOM without knowing the exact action of the plan, but when the action is implemented, the SUB will still disguise it as resistance and disapproval. For activities such as kidnapping games, DOM will obtain permission from a SUB in advance to carry out kidnapping games, but the SUB will struggle and resist desperately for the effect of the game.
Note: don’t ask, ask is full of drama, drama essence is so refined. You can read this popular science article about voluntary disagreement.
The most muddled moment, “I don’t need safety words.”
BDSM CHECKLIST
Niche group
Spank，SP
Translation: Spanking
Explanation: In the early 20th century, spanking by their wives and girlfriends was often seen as an acceptable form of domestic discipline as a way to correct behavior, maintain male dominance, and enforce gender norms. This is a common metaphor in American movies.
Today, some love pain groups regard spanking as a way of sexual arousal. Of course, SP can be related to or not related to sex.
Spanko
Translation: People who like spanking
Explanation: they have a complete spanko culture, which is separate from and different from BDSM culture. It is usually called a small circle (BDSM is called a big circle). Around 2014, in Texas, the overlapping of the big circle and small circle led to constant conflicts between the two groups in daily social life. Because most spanko cultures generally do not use the excuses, reasons, roles, or motivations often used by BDSMer, spanko is gradually excluded from the BDSM Community.
OTk，over the knee
Explanation: A way to spank over the knee.
